A little bit of a ramble through my thoughts....

Sorry it’s been so long! My “social self” has been on a bit of a strike the last month or so. Anywho, I’m at birth number 17. My last baby had to be transported to the hospital because he was having some trouble breathing so please be praying for him.

I’ve been thinking a lot about when I go home. Both for my break and when I’m home for good. As far as for break goes... well I think my mom has some dates lined up for me. Hehe. That actually makes me laugh a little bit, but I’m looking forward to it at the same time. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date, even if it’s just for fun. 

It’s looking like I’m going to be pretty busy though! I’ve got so many people to see! So if you want to see me you’d better sign up now! Hehe. Just kidding. While I am going to be pretty busy, I’m sure I’ll have time for everyone.

As far as when I get home for good... Well I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do after I take my NARM. Getting a job is a given, but there aren’t very many clinics in Fort Mill. I’d like to get a job at one of them if possible. It would be nice to be able to stay close to home. But if I have to move, my first choice would be to Charleston. I like the idea of living near the beach. That would mean getting a place and room mates and everything. I’d be about four hours away from my family. Which isn’t really too far... But still... I think I’d miss my mom.

Life here isn’t as stressful as it was. I’ve gotten mostly caught up on my school work and have adjusted to the culture. Finding places that I can go to de-stress has helped a lot. Hiding in a coffee shop for a day really makes me feel better. So does stuffing my face full of chocolate. Haha. The biggest problem with that is it does get a little bit expensive. I mean, yes, most things are cheaper here, but it still takes a toll on my wallet. But hey, it keeps me from killing my house mates!

I actually really love my house mates. But living in a four bedroom house with twelve other girls begins to take it’s toll on you. Especially if you’re a bit of an introvert (which I am) Eventually you hit this point where you don’t want to talk to anyone, you don’t want to see anyone, everything everyone does grates on your nerves... Thus the reason my “social self” has been on strike. That’s when I have to decide between being explosive and being broke. I generally choose broke. I think a month away from everyone will do me good. I’m really looking forward to some new faces.

I think a lot about who I want to be in my life, about who I wanted to be when I was a kid. For career day in seventh grade I dressed up as a writer. I put my hair into a messy bun and tucked a pencil behind my ear. I look at myself today. My hair is in a messy bun, I’ve got headphones tucked into my ears and I have over 40 ideas for novels in a folder on my desktop (all of them on hold until I finish school). In part, I’ve achieved my dream of being a writer. 

Looking at other things I’ve aspired to be, traits I’ve aspired to have, most of them are things you don’t even realize you do until someone else points it out to you. I’ve always wanted to be patient and kind. I’ve prayed that love would ooze out of my very being. I’ve wanted to be that person who reaches out to the outcasts and showed them love. I always wanted to be that girl, who, while she isn’t famous, she touches the life of everyone she meets. She changes people by simply being herself. She pushes people to be better, inspires them to chase their dreams because that’s what she’s doing. 

The other day, I got an email from a friend back home who told me that I’d done just that. By simply being myself I’d inspired him to be more. I’d inspired him to chase his own dreams. One of my housemates, just the other day, told me that I was one of the most loving people she’s ever knows. Past coworkers have told me that I have the most patients they’ve ever seen. I’ve always prayed for these things, but never really thought of myself as having them. I’ve just done what comes naturally and those things, came naturally to me. Turns out, I’ve been the person I wanted to be all along!

I think that, more often than not, we are the person we aspire to be. We look at someone else and say, “Oh they have so much ambition. I wish I was like that.” Or “I wish I was more like them” But when we stop trying to be someone else and just be ourselves, we find that the traits that we envy are inside us and the best way to let them out is to simply do it. Stop saying I wish I was more patient and just start being patient. Stop saying I wish I could do big things with my life and just go do them. Quit waiting around to blossom into who you want to be and start taking an active effort in becoming that person.

Anyways, being that I’m only 20 I know I’ve still got a long way to go. I am far from perfect. But I do really love finding out that, even when I don’t see it, I am well on my way to becoming the person I want to be. Now I just need twenty cats and a collection of large, colorful hats.

I think I’m done now.

Happy New Year!

So it’s 8 in the morning and I’m going back to sleep. I’ve only been awake for three hours but it’s been a very eventful three hours. I woke up feeling all cozy and wanting to just turn over and go back to sleep. I checked my clock to find that it was 5:20 am and my alarm hadn’t gone off. I sighed and tried to jump off the top bunk as quietly as I could. I found some scrubs and a cup of water then headed to shift. I walk through the birthroom door and the supervisor says “She’s pushing. Who’s first up?”

“I am.” I say. My eyes aren’t even fully open yet. I put on gloves and head to the cubical where I can hear the woman moaning. As I sit at the end of the bed I talk to the woman laying there. “Ok di (Bisyan for sister) listen to me ok?” She nods. With the next contraction I can see the baby’s head. “Ok. Slowly. Hinai hinai ok?” She listens beautifully.

With each contraction I can see more of the baby’s head. As she gets closer to crowning I can tell that she’s starting to loose control. I support the baby’s head so that it won’t come until I’m ready for it. “Ok, An? Listen. Don’t push ok? Just ‘ha’ like a cough, like an ubo ok? Siggy!” With the next contraction she says ha like I told her, somewhere between a cough and a shout. Every time I could feel her start to loose control I’d remind her, “Ha lang. Just ha.”

With each ha a little more of the baby’s head slipped out and finally, it was all the way out. I quickly checked for a cord wrap. Finding none, I told her, “Ok! Utong, push!” She pushed and I pulled and the baby was out. A beautiful 6 lb 10oz boy. The first Mercy baby of 2011. His name is John Rey. Here’s some pictures!

I just got off Christmas vacation. It was really nice to have a break from all the school work. I would tell you I was super missionary over my break and went to live in the slums and rescue kittens from vindictive slave traders but I didn’t. I went to the beach and stayed at a hotel so I could sleep in the air conditioning for a few days. It was nice to get away from “midwife life” for a little while. I actually slept for 12 hours the first night! Then I woke up, ate breakfast, and took a nap. Then I got up for lunch, went swimming at the beach and took another nap! My mom would be proud.

God knows I needed the sleep though. I haven’t slept that much since I got here. I was well on my way to getting sick and really needed the rest. I threw up on the ferry ride to the beach actually and it wasn’t from sea sickness. So some sleep and then some more sleep, then a nap helped me out a lot. But now I’m back to the daily grind. 

Here’s some cool news! On the 10th I get to go out to the mountain villages (The bukid) to do some medical stuff! We’ll be doing prenatals, giving vacciens and doing health teachings. I’m really exciting. A group went at the beginning of December and they loved it! I’m really looking forward to seeing what Filipino life is like outside of the city.

Other excitement! My mom and grandma are coming to see me in about two weeks! I can’t wait! They’ll get to see me catch a baby and everything! I really miss my family so it will be nice to get to see them!

So that’s about it for now. I’d like to say thank you to all the people who have been sending me boxes and letters! It’s very encouraging. And few things turn a bad or stressful day around like getting mail!

Much love!

I can't count them on one hand anymore!

I should be a good little missionary and write another blog. But the 20 something in me is going through bed withdrawals. I’ve had a lot of day shifts lately...

But I’m going to be good and write a blog.

So. Since my last post I’ve caught a total of seven babies. Yep! Seven. 4 girls and 3 boys. My first baby, Ashley Mae is four weeks old already! Crazy stuff!

I’ve only got a few pictures. I’m sure I’ll have more next month... I’m terrible at remembering to bring my camera to shift...

I’m going on outreach in January! I’m really excited for that! I’ll be out in the villages in the mountains doing health teachings, giving immunizations, and anything else that needs to be done!

And after that my mommy is coming to visit! I can’t wait to see her! I miss her lots!

I learned to catheterize a few days ago, not that you needed to know that. But I thought it was pretty cool. I always like learning new things, even if it’s small. 

Actually, that was on my 7th birth. Which was fairly interesting anyways. There were only 5 of us on shift, one of us was gone transporting a woman with mumps. And two women were giving birth at the same time. So everyone was in the cubical of the woman who was farther along. I was with my patient who was wanting to push. I looked at her and said, “Do not push. Just keep breathing. There are not enough people here right now so I just need you to breathe.”

She did really well following my directions. But in between contractions she’d look at me and say “Where are the people? Where are they?” In this desperate voice.

“They’ll be here soon.” I’d reassure her. “You are doing so well!” She really was.

Finally, the supervisor who’d been transporting came back and my laborer was able to push. Her water hadn’t broken so the bow (Bag Of Waters) was bulging out with each contraction. The baby’s head was almost crowning. I just knew I was going to get splashed. My supervisor looked at me and asked if I wanted to break the bag so that I wouldn’t get wet. I was all for that. So we placed a towel over the bow and pinched enough to tear a small hole so that the water would leak out.

The baby was right there. As the head was crowning, I told the mother to just breathe and to Ha, much like in my first birth. She breathed the head out so smoothly and with so much control. I was so proud of her!

 The head was out with the next contraction. I slipped my fingers into the woman’s vagina to check if the cord was wrapped around the baby. It wasn’t. So I gripped the baby at the shoulders and pulled with an up and down motion, wiggling the baby out as the mother pushed. The healthy baby girl came out with no problem at all. 

The woman only had a tiny skin split on the sides of her vaginal walls. We didn’t have to suture at all!

She named the baby Precious Rheyann. 

It was a great birth.

I also want to thank everyone who’s been sending me packages and letters! I appreciate them so much! Sometimes just a simple letter makes my whole day so much better! Especially when it’s unexpected!

Here’s some pictures of Ashley Mae at her 3 week check. She’s getting so big!

And here is a picture of my first baby boy, Gleeven Jr. and his sweet mama

A Story

So it’s 9 am and I’m staring at this woman’s pwerta (vagina) thinking, “Oh my God, what have I gotten myself in to?” It’s just as much a prayer as it is anything else, because at this point, I really am praying just as much as I am freaking out.

I can see the head. I look at Ruth, the girl who’s charting for me. “3 cm visible with pushing.” I say. She nods and writes it down. I look at my supervisor, who is also my assistant. She gives me a reassuring smile. I take a deep breath. “Oh God. What am I doing?”

“5 cm visible.” I call out to Ruth. I look at the woman laying in front of me. “Ginhawa. Breathe.” I say. “Just breathe. Ginhawa lang.”

She nods between breaths and contractions. I smile at her, hoping that I look reassuring and not scared witless.

“8cm Ruth.” The bag of water breaks under the towel I’m holding. I see it trickle down the mother’s skin. “SROM.” I call out to let Ruth know that the membranes have spontaneously ruptured.

Then Heather is right next to me, her hands over mine, guiding me. “Support the head.” She says. I do as told and keep telling the mother to breathe. “Ha.” I say to her. “That’s right. Ha. Like a cough.”

She says “Ha.”

“Again.” Both Heather and I say.

“Ha."

“Good. Again.” I tell her softly as I watch the head crown.

She continues to ha and I watch the baby’s head slip out. “Head out.” I call.

Heather guides my hands again. “Check for a cord wrap or hands.”

I quickly check to make sure the umbilical cord isn’t wrapped around the baby. It isn’t, but the baby has it’s hand up by it’s head. Heather slips the hand out. I look at the mother. “Ok ginhawa.” I tell her. The baby slides out into my waiting hands.

I lay the baby on the mother’s belly. Heather takes over from there. It’s the assistant’s job to check the baby after birth. I watch for bleeding and wait for the placenta. We tell the father to check if the baby is a boy or girl. It’s a girl. And, for what feels like the first time in twenty minutes, I take a breath.

The rest of the birth went well. She delivered the placenta about 50 minutes after birth, breastfed well, and all of her checks were normal. I can’t stop smiling. They tell me they don’t have a name for the baby. But we all thinks she’s pretty cute anyways.

I bathe the baby and she cries. But the moment I have her wrapped back up and am snuggling her close she quiets down and her curious eyes dart all over. Her mother gets up to go to the CR (comfort room) and I do the newborn exam. She’s whole and perfect. She weighs 6 pounds exactly and refuses to let me get good foot prints.

When I’m done, I take her back to her mother and get them situated in the post partum area. And then I finally get a small break. It’s about noon and I stuff my face with more popcorn than I though was humanly possible. Then I get back to work. I get all the paperwork signed and finished. The only thing left is for the father to wash the plastic things we used. I do my last set of vitals. On my way out of the post partum area the father catches me and says, “We picked a name.” I pull out the birth certificate worksheet and wait for him to tell me what they picked. “Ashley Mae.” He tells me. I have him spell it for me and we just smile at each other.

“It’s a good name.” I tell him. He nods. He knows it’s a good name.

I go sit down and look over my chart. It’s the end of my shift and all my work is done. I sit back and sigh, ready to hand them over to the next shift. They’re almost ready to go home so I don’t feel bad handing them off. I just feel hungry. And happy.

The End

 

Love Seasoned Pig

Well, my lovely darlings, that was birth number 10! I forgot my camera today so no baby pics. Sorry. 10 births means I am now at charting. Which means I’m 15 away from catching! I bought a birth book last week so I can put all the baby foot prints and names and all that from all the babies I catch! Can you believe that by the end of these two years I’ll have caught over 100? That blows my mind. This is the only midwifery school I’ve ever heard of where you can get so much experience!

I’ve been studying hard these last couple weeks. My next test is on Monday. I’ve also been writing away on my assignment. I’ve also got cooking this week and four shifts over the next four days. Needless to say the next few days will be a little hectic!

I took a much needed break from studying and assignment and birth last weekend. Some of us students rented a boat and went snorkeling! Only in the Philippines can you get world class snorkeling for $10! I was amazed. I’ve been snorkeling in both Mozambique and Jamaica, but this was by far the best I’ve ever seen! There are so many kinds of fish and coral here! I’m trying to get some pictures from some of the other girls so that I can post them. It was a blast!

I’ve been on cooking this week. On Tuesday, we had pancakes. Then... I found chocolate chips, cocoa powder, and food coloring in the cabinet. You can guess what happened next! It was like Rainbow Bright invaded our kitchen! I made cinnimmon syrup and seasoned the bacon myself! I’m pretty proud of my bacon. Kayla says it was seasoned with death. But she doesn’t eat pork. If she did, she’d have believed me when I told her it was seasoned with love. Here’s my recipe for those of you who like love seasoned pig.

Can't you feel the love?

Love Seasoned Pig:

Unseasoned bacon

1 table spoon of salt

1/4 cup of pepper

2 table spoons of sugar

1/4 cup of rosemary

Rub and press the spices into the bacon. Cook to taste. I like my bacon crispy.

The measurements are really just a guesstimate because I just throw handfuls or so of spices at whatever I am cooking. Everything I’ve cooked so far has come out edible so I must be doing something right!

One of my dear friends back home is releasing a CD this weekend! Those of you in the Charlotte area should go to the release and support him and his music! Those of you not in the Charlotte area should buy his CD on itunes this Saturday! Here is the FaceBook page for the release:

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=150781118276512&ref=ts

For itunes look for A Chance For Heros by This Weakness Being Mine. You can’t miss it. The cover art is pretty great. I’ve gotta find out who the artist is! And that, my friends, is my shameless promotion for the day. Buy it, listen to it, love it. Do it now. You know you want to.

And now: Various pictures of my house and Davao City to make up for the lack of babies!

The View From My Bed

Bisiya Homework

Most Of My Textbooks

My Fan. Cause It's Hot.

P.S. I’ll be 20 on Monday!

Thor

It’s been a busy week. I’ve had my first assignment and test, my first Thai massage, a great shopping trip, bought a gym membership and saw two births! I can’t complain to much about that. 

I can complain that I didn’t do too well on my first exam. I have a chance to retake it on Monday. When I first found out I was pretty discouraged, but then I talked to my supervisor about it and she told me she didn’t do too well on most of her exams either, so I don’t feel as bad anymore. I’m still pretty disappointed in myself. I really thought I knew my stuff. I was so confidant that I would pass with flying colors. I think it’s time to learn a little humility. It’s funny, cause just last night I was praying for humility. I’ve found that I tend to have this attitude of “I’ve got it down pat. I know exactly what I’m doing.” I think that maybe, doing poorly on this exam that I though I knew so well is a little bit of God teaching me that I don’t know anything. I need to be humble because I don’t know it all. I don’t even know any of it! I know that I need to be teachable. But knowing that I need to be and actually being are two very different things. So please pray for me for humbleness. Pray that I won’t get cocky again. And pray that I do well on my retake on Monday.

In happier news, I got a gym membership this week. The gym is quite nice. It’s not too big, but has a lot of good, new equipment. I’ve gone twice so far and loved it. I feel so good after I work out! And there are trainers all over at the gym. They’re very helpful and I’m actually pretty grateful that they’re there! As a member at the gym I get a discount on the massages, can take the different classes they have, use their showers that actually have hot water... so on and so forth. I plan on taking the belly dancing classes that they have whenever I can. I found out recently that belly dancing originated as a way to teach women how to move their bodies during labor. When I have my own clinic one day, I will have belly dancing classes for the pregnant women. It’s going to be amazing.

I had a Thai massage on Friday. I didn’t really like it very much. It’s actually a little painful and not really my idea of a relaxing massage at all! There’s a lot of stretching involved and I did like that part, but then the masseuse presses really hard when massaging. I know deep tissue massages are supposed to be good for you, but ouch! I think I’ll stick with regular massages from here on out.

I’ve found a coffee shop I like. It will be mine, although I’m sure I’ll be sharing it with other students. I’ve found a church I like, but I’m going to keep looking I think, to try and find one that I really love. I’ve found chocolate and macaroni and cheese and Arizona tea. I think I’m really settling in, although I’m still working to find my rhythm. I need to procrastinate less. I need to be more proactive in actually doing things. I find that I do have time, I just tend to waste it. I need to be more proactive in my relationships here. I’ve been doing a bit better with that, but it’s easy to withdraw. It’s easy to plug in my headphones and hide in my room with my gnome. But a gnome, as good of a listener as he is, is not much in the way of emotional or spiritual support.

I’m starting to miss home a bit. I miss my church and friends and family and cat. I miss my kids that I worked with. I miss fall. I miss sunny days that aren’t 98 degrees and more humid then I would care to know. I miss being out late with friends, going to Taco Bell and then sitting on the back of my car and talking under the stars for hours. I’m over estrogenated. I have no male friends here. No one to talk about cars and action movies and hunting with. I miss sitting in on jam sessions with Dave and Clyde. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not crying myself to sleep every night or anything. I’m doing pretty well. I like it here. I’m just having a moment. I’ll be fine in the morning. Or in a day or two. Or when I have McDonald’s for dinner tomorrow. That’ll help. It’s just been a long week. And I’m on night shift at the clinic so I know it will be a long night. It’s slow right now. I hope things pick up. I could use a good birth or five to keep my mind of things until I can get some sleep. Thanks for all your prayers.

The next day:
I’ll finish what I was writing last night now... A woman came in shortly after I finished writing. She was 6cm dilated. She was adorable. She was shorter than me by about a foot and she was all belly. Her contractions were really strong, but they were short. They were strong enough to make her cry. I talked to the second year I was shadowing and we came to the conclusion that the baby’s head was really far down and pressing on her pubic bone and that was what was making it so painful.

The woman’s husband came in after a little while to help support her. He was very sweet to her. He fed her, held her, rubbed her back, wiped the tears from her eyes. I love getting to see the dynamics between a pregnant woman and her husband. It’s really beautiful.

She was walking with every contraction, which is very good. All’s she wanted to do was stand up and walk around. All night it was like this. Every few minutes she’d stand up and walk until her contraction was gone. Finally after six hours of labor she was ready to push. 

Most women give birth lying on their backs here. It’s just cultural. So it’s always a treat when you can convince a woman, or when she chooses to give birth in another position.  This woman gave birth in a supported squat. He husband held her from behind and with every contraction she would bear down. At 6:03 am she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. I didn’t get any pictures because I was too busy charting. Sometimes, if we don’t have a lot of people on shift, I end up doing a lot of charting, even though right now I’m only supposed to be observing. But we all help out wherever and whenever we can. And it’s good practice for when I really do have to start charting. Which should be soon. I have four more births to observe, then I get to chart for real.

Baby Thor

I did get pictures of something else though. The shift before mine had to transport a woman who had given birth because she was gushing blood. Her baby stayed at Mercy. So other than watching a birth, guess what I was doing all night? Babysitting an adorable newborn! He was a big, chunky baby. 8 pounds at least. He had no name yet so my supervisor dubbed him Thorton, or Thor for short. I got to take his vitals ever four hours and feed him every three. We made up some formula (which is quite a hassle) and then used a syringe to feed him. When I did get the chance to take a small nap I slept for about twenty minutes with him curled up on my belly. I wish someone had gotten pictures of us sleeping. It was cute!

So all in all it was a very good night. I had a little bit of angst at the beginning, but then the labor came in and I got to babysit, and I felt much better. It’s hard to be angsty when feeding a cute baby!

Syringe Feeding

An Adventure In Cooking. Also, Cheese.

I’m on cooking team this week. It’s been quite the adventure so far. Many of you know that I don’t do much cooking. I live on Spaghettios and grilled cheese sandwiches (Which is actually what I’m eating right now. Thanks for the Havarti Grandpa!)

So cooking for close to fifteen people is quite a challenge. 

I’d decided to make chicken noodle soup over mashed potatoes like my grandma did when I was a kid. Thanks to an intense craving on my part, and some intense patients on my mom’s I can make decent mashed potatoes. Chicken noodle soup is another story. I’ve never made my own chicken noodle soup. Leastwise that didn’t involve a can and a microwave and a lot of help from the Campbell’s family. But I decided to go for it. 

We (being Heidi and I) went to the market on Monday. We got all the veggies that we would need. Carrots, green onions and potatoes. I wanted celery as well, but we couldn’t find any. Does celery grow in the Philippines? I don’t know. Amber, the other girl on cooking team, went and picked up chicken and egg noodles from the grocery store. We had all the spices I thought I’d need at the house.

Tuesday at 5:30 pm Heidi and I started cooking. Peeling the potatoes took a lot longer than I’d expected. Our potato peeler was dull. It took an hour, but we got all six pounds of potatoes peeled and in the pot. We set those to boiling and then I started on the chicken. 

I had a simple recipe from the internet. It was very basic. I followed it pretty well. Chop the chicken, boil it with some salt and bouillon cubes, add the veggies and noodles. That went just fine. But it was a little bland so I decided to get fancy with the spices. A handful of salt, pepper, and lemon pepper later, it was ready to go.

Now we just had to wait for the potatoes. By this point they were almost soft enough to mash. We gave them another five minutes then drained them. I dumped them into the largest bowl we had. Heidi looked at me like I was nuts when I threw a whole block of butter into the mix. I reassured her that I know my mashed potatoes. 

We couldn’t find the electric mixer that is fabled to be in the kitchen somewhere so I grabbed the hand masher and went to town. I added some milk and salt. I burnt my knuckles on the steaming potatoes. And I hand mashed six pounds of potatoes into fluffy, creamy goodness. I was quite proud of myself. Two hours after we had started, dinner was finally ready.

Everyone said they loved the potatoes and soup. Some even went back for seconds! I was relived, and very happy. I had my doubts about how the meal was going to turn out. But I surprised myself and I make, if I do say so myself, a pretty awesome chicken noodle soup.

In other news, I got a package today! My Grandpa sent me cheese! It’s a whole block of pre sliced Havarti cheese! And it wasn’t even green! I’m very happy about that. It’s quite tasty. Thank you so much Grandpa!